How to Train Your Fearful Cat to Be Confident

Melina Grin / Cats.com

Building confidence and achieving emotional balance in your fearful cat requires understanding why felines may be terrified of humans and new experiences. Reflecting on what may have been lacking during their development, negative early life encounters, or presumed trauma will help us approach and address the situation with empathy.

While fearful behavior can create discomfort for cats and humans, it’s essential to remember that, like all species, cats are influenced by their individuality, genetics, early life experiences, and the environment.

7 Causes of Fear in Cats

Truffles hide when people arrive in the home behind the Honeypot woven cat tree. Melina Grin / Cats.com

Many factors can influence your cat’s skittish behavior. Empathy and identifying the root cause can help you overcome your cat’s anxiety and build resilience.

Let’s explore what might be frightening your cat and contributing to an emotional imbalance.

1. Lack of Socialization in the Early Developmental Stage

Cats are generally less domesticated than dogs and have a shorter socialization period, which lasts until about 8 weeks of age. In contrast, puppies have a socialization period that ends around 16 weeks; hence, when a cat is rescued or adopted from a shelter, it may have missed a crucial socialization period. If a kitten, whether purebred or not, doesn’t have positive exposure to humans or new situations during early development, it can develop a fearful or stressed response later in life. Furthermore, inadequate socialization is the leading environmental cause of fear-related aggression^[3]. Ultimately, kittens need socialization to help them become friendly, happy cats.

2. Instinctive Prey Behavior

As prey animals, cats are naturally inclined to be vigilant against potential predators, including humans, dogs, coyotes, and birds of prey. This instinct to be cautious means that their survival instincts often kick in when cats are moved to a shelter or enter a new home. As a result, they may hiss, hide, or even become aggressive, viewing these situations as threats.

3. Genetics, Parental Sociability, and the Queen’s Health and Experiences During Pregnancy All Affect Fearfulness

Genetics and the cat parents’ sociability influence how a cat adapts to different situations. If the father cat is skittish around people, the likelihood that the kittens will be fearful increases.

The queen plays a significant role in shaping the kittens both genetically and behaviorally, before and after birth. During gestation, the kittens may be adversely affected if the queen is malnourished, ill, or experiences negative emotions. Her emotional state, shaped by her overall mental health and specific experiences during pregnancy, can lead to epigenetic changes that influence the physical and behavioral development of the kittens.

4. Insufficient Taming

Not every individual cat is necessarily tame. Although domestication occurs at the species level, taming is an experiential learning phenomenon that takes place during an individual animal’s lifetime. This process involves reducing an animal’s avoidance of people and increasing its willingness to approach them. Each cat is shaped by its unique life experiences. If a cat has had few positive encounters with humans, it may not be very tame. Tameness can also vary depending on the person encountered and the interaction context^[1].

5. Environmental Changes Can Contribute to Fear

Cats are highly sensitive to changes in their environment. Alterations in your schedule, rearranging furniture, and introducing new pets or guests can unsettle your cat. Loud noises and house moves can trigger fear and exacerbate anxiety.

6. Early Negative Life Experiences Can Affect a Cat’s Behavior

A kitten separated from its mother before weaning may experience loss and fear. Traumatic events, abandonment, multiple rehomings, neglect, or abuse by humans can leave both physical and emotional scars. A single frightening incident or a history of negative experiences can cause a cat to become fearful, even in situations unrelated to the initial trauma.

Sadly, cats from laboratory research and hoarding scenarios with limited socialization can be afraid in new situations and may run and hide when people visit. Many of these felines display symptoms such as hypervigilance and an increased startle response.

7. Illness or Injury Can Lead to Increased Fear

Physical Illness, injury, pain, or aging can cause physical or cognitive changes that lead to increased worry and anxiety. These conditions can also make cats fearful.

How to Train Your Fearful Cat to Be Confident

Drape a blanket over furniture to create a den-like space for your skittish cat. Melina Grin / Cats.com

Before training your fearful cat, recognize him as a sentient, sensitive, and unique being. Although cats generally seem independent, they thrive when their emotional and environmental needs are genuinely met. To set your nervous cat up for success, do the following:

Create a Calm and Safe Environment for Your Cat

All cats need a safe space to retreat and hide, especially when they feel scared or threatened by new people, changes in their environment, or potentially dangerous situations. A calm and secure area allows cats to flee within the home, ensuring they feel safe and undisturbed.

Hiding is common in a novel or stressful situation; hence, concealment opportunities are vital for cats, as they help them cope with stress and feel protected in their surroundings. Possible hiding places for cats are open wardrobes, underneath beds, wicker baskets, cardboard boxes, long tunnels, cat trees, and even behind the couch, wherever they can decompress when they feel scared.

Provide Your Cat With Choices and a Sense of Control

Since cats are a solitary and territorial species, they are independent in their physical environment and social setting. Providing them with familiarity, a sense of control and choice to make their own decision of when, how and with whom to interact and when to retrieve, is vital in reducing fear and anxiety.

Encourage Interactions That Respect Individual Preferences

Fearful cats should always be able and willing to interact with a human, a novel setting, or another pet on their own terms. Keeping scaredy cats confined in a cage is an example of what not to do when adopting a skittish cat from the shelter. Likewise, staring, soaring over your cat, physically restraining, touching, or force-petting a cat in a crate or a spare room with minimal hiding opportunities should be avoided because the cat has no control of the situation. A shy or scared cat won’t find tactile touch pleasant from a stranger either, will feel trapped, and may react aggressively to protect itself.

Always allow your cat to initiate an interaction or approach you first. Most cats will tell you how they feel and what they like by rubbing your body, pawing at you, or meowing when they enjoy something or swiping or biting at you when they dislike something.

Remember to speak softly, keep the environment quiet, move slowly, and avoid quick or sudden movements. If necessary, dim the lights to calm your skittish cat.

Desensitization and Counter-Conditioning Fearful Cats

Desensitization gradually exposes an animal to a frightening stimulus without triggering an adverse reaction, while counterconditioning helps them associate the stimulus with something positive.

Combining both techniques can speed up progress, though it may take weeks or months to help a nervous cat build resilience through many predictable repetitions.

Here is an example of how to introduce an unfamiliar person to a fearful cat:

1. To calm your cat before strangers arrive, plug in a Feliway diffuser 2 days beforehand.
2. If your cat is scared of the doorbell, ask visitors not to ring the buzzer but to text you upon arrival until your cat is fully desensitised to it.
3. Let your visitors know that your shy cat might feel overwhelmed by new people, so it’s best to give them space initially. Many frightened cats retreat to another room or hide under the couch. To help your cat feel more secure, provide plenty of hiding spots, such as boxes and tunnels, within the room when introducing unfamiliar people.
4. Teach your visitors to keep a distance and not attempt to coerce the cat from underneath the couch. If your cat remains under the sofa, talk calmly.
5. Allow your guest to reach the cat’s level, sit on the floor, and exhibit behaviors perceived as non-threatening, such as avoiding direct staring, slow blinking, and turning your face away to reassure the cat you aren’t a threat.
6. If your cat is food-driven, ask your visitor to gently toss some of your cat’s favorite treats on the floor initially under the couch, then a short distance away from you. This may encourage your cat to come out from underneath the sofa, but there’s no guarantee that your cat will eat the treat or approach the guest. If your cat won’t eat the treat, repeat this step several times and let the cat decompress from the interaction. If your cat is motivated by toys rather than food, a cat teaser might do the trick, as long as your cat feels they can retreat and hide after each interaction.
7. When your cat is calm, ask your visitor to move gradually closer while observing your cat’s behavior. Stop immediately if your cat begins to show any signs of fear.
8. If your cat approaches the visitor while sitting on the ground, ask your guest to offer their finger to sniff. If your cat sniffs or brushes their hand, encourage your visitor to gently stroke the cat’s chin briefly.
9. For the next training session, start from the last point where your cat did not display fear and then continue moving slowly from that spot. Always proceed with caution to ensure your cat does not lose trust.

Remember not to overwhelm a timid cat when interacting with a new person or a novel situation (like meeting a new dog). Flooding occurs when an individual is exposed to a maximum-intensity anxiety-producing situation or stimulus. Flooding removes the animal’s power to choose, which can result in lasting impaired behavior, such as learned helplessness or aggression. An example for us humans would be if you’re scared of spiders and someone puts you in a room full of spiders—you’ll panic, and your fear will be exaggerated.

Sound Desensitization

Use gradual noise desensitization to help a fearful cat adjust to loud or frightening noises, such as the doorbell, fireworks, or slamming doors. Start by playing recorded sounds from YouTube at a low volume. While the sounds are playing, offer their favorite treats or engage in play to create a positive association with the noise.

I used this technique to desensitize my semi-feral kitten, Sienna, to the doorbell. She used to run and hide under the bed whenever the buzzer rang. It took her about three weeks to stop hiding through repeated controlled exposure.

Use Positive Reinforcement Techniques to Reward Relaxed or Positive Behavior

Targeting is a force-free training method that uses positive reinforcement to teach your pet to touch a body part on cue without handling. Melina Grin / Cats.com

Clicker training is an example of positive reinforcement used to reward positive behavior. First, introduce the clicker by softening its sound and pairing it with a favorite treat to build a positive association. You can start by approaching the area the cat is in, clicking, dropping a treat on the floor, and stepping back quietly. This teaches your cat that the ‘click sound’ means treats are dispensed and that the ‘scary person moves away.’ Repeat this step multiple times, even if the cat doesn’t consume the treats.

Once your cat is relaxed and accepting treats, try capturing. Capturing is when the cat performs a behavior naturally without a cue. Focus on capturing friendly or calm behaviors like when your jittery cat makes eye contact when you enter the room, blinks at you, sits quietly, or approaches you for a treat. Click the instant the behavior occurs and immediately provide a reward. Now you’re ready to introduce the target stick.

Targeting is a force-free training method that uses positive reinforcement to teach your pet to touch a body part on cue without needing to be handled. Introduce the target stick steadily by showing your cat the target. Slowly progress to your cat touching it with their nose or paw. Reward any positive interactions with high-value treats or a verbal cue. Targeting can help a fearful cat better tolerate strangers and look forward to people reaching toward them.

Short, consistent, predictable training sessions will help increase your cat’s confidence.

Reduce Stressors or Triggers

As we learned, individuals will respond differently to various people, environments, and situations based on their previous experiences or lack thereof. So, it’s vital to know what triggers your cat, making him feel uneasy, scared, or stressed. Reducing exposure to these triggers and using positive reinforcement techniques can help build positive associations and minimize stress.

Encourage Confidence Through Play Therapy

Interactive play is a wonderful bonding experience for you and your cat since games fulfill many functions, like hunting, and are a pleasurable experience. However, if your cat is petrified, he may prefer solo play; this includes toys your cat can play with on their own, such as ping pong balls, wine corks, crumpled paper balls, catnip kickeroos, motorized toys, and plastic lizards. Solo play therapy allows your cat full control over the type of play, reduces stress, and minimizes the need to share space with another human or pet.

Lastly, Combine Natural Remedies and Therapies to Cultivate a Sense of Calmness

Serafina self selecting dried herbs to help relax her. Melina Grin / Cats.com

Holistic remedies and therapies for fearful cats include using pheromones (sprays and diffusers), zoopharmacognosy with the use of herbal supplements like valerian root, synbiotics, anti-anxiety supplements that contain both alpha-casozepine and L-tryptophan, and CBD oil for their calming properties.

Distant Reiki and sound therapy, designed to reduce anxiety in humans and pets—such as Binaural beats, Through a Cat’s Ear, or Pet Acoustics Pet Tunes—can foster a sense of calmness and soothe a frightened feline.